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Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Sarcastic Road Safety

Dear Driver, forget everything you learned in driving school. They are wimps who work for our age-old enemies, pedestrians!

Only I am good enough driver – gold worth an old observation goes something like this: all who drive slower than you are idiots, and everyone driving faster than you are maniacs who will cause all the others drivers to get killed! Considering there is almost no chance that someone goes through the same speed as you, it is logical to conclude that only you are good driver. You must truly hate all other drivers!

The enemy is observing – You must not use the direction indicator as this gives away your intentions to the enemy drivers behind and in front of you. Protect your privacy and direction of movement of malicious curious ones. Sometimes it is necessary to further confuse them, left-turning indicators and providing tactical turn right!

The red light – Look left and right before you go through a red light. The higher speed riding on a red at the intersection, the less is chance that you hit another car. This maintains an high safety level, which is important!

Safe distance – suggested safe distance between vehicles in a bar in no way should be realized! Always to crawl into the trunk of the driver in front of you because that is the way to stop someone from adjacent lane to get in between you and significantly jeopardize the safety of all!
Time is money – When you’re dying, you are sure to realize that because of slow reflexes of drivers in front of you at traffic lights, you lost a total of 9.4 seconds of life! Those who do not start as soon as the yellow light turns on, deserve to die of cancer. Ready your hand on the buzzer as soon as you stand behind someone at a traffic light and wait.

CAUTION! For those drivers who do not get the sarcasm above, that was sarcasm. Drive safely, follow the rules!

Source: Childhood

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